Tips Every Divorced Parent Needs To Know
These tips for newly divorced parents will help you through the tumultuous process of getting a divorce and moving on. As you know, going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you can go through. The truth is that some divorces are tougher than others and everyone’s situation is unique. For this reason, there are some general tips and guidelines, however no cookie cutter way of handling your divorce.
Divorce is made even harder when you’re going through a divorce with children. Trying to set visitation, ensuring that everything is paid correctly and on-time are a few of the things that can make a tough situation even tougher.
It can sometimes seem like there’s no hope and that it’s all too much. However, these crucial tips should ease your burden and make your life just that little bit easier.
Every Parent Is Unique
There are countless different ways to co-parent and everyone has their own style. However, making sure that you and your ex are at least headed in the same direction or are on the same page is a major bonus. So here are the top tips for newly divorced parents!
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7 Tips For Newly Divorced Parents To Make Co-Parenting Easier
TIP 1: Communication Is Key
You may not want to talk to your ex, under any circumstance. Though, let’s face it, you’re going to have to. Paying child support, dealing with shared child expenses, and many other things will be a subject of top-priority during the early years of divorce.
Sometimes, after a bitter divorce, parties feel it would be nice to just try and forget and focus on the future. Unfortunately, this is just not possible when you’ve got children in the mix, so there are ways you can ease the stress of communication. Here are a few simple suggestions:
- Don’t communicate during the heat of an argument. Give it some time to cool down.
- Use helpful apps such as DComply which will make communicating about expenses easier. You can download DComply for your Iphone or Android and get started free of charge!
- Do therapy when necessary. It will help set boundaries and deal with underlying feelings of hurt and guilt.
TIP 2: Keep Things Clear
Keeping things clear is an important thing to do when you are newly divorced. When you keep things clear there is no second guessing and no passive aggressive behavior in the mix.
Keeping things clear, whether that be your obligations, appointments and communication, is crucial to supporting your child in a healthy way. In addition, there are tons of apps for this particular issue that enable co-parents to keep everything in one place and handle the stress of divorce.
When you keep things clear you:
- Are in the loop and know what’s going on with your child at all times
- Have a schedule that you operate off of so you’re always in the know
- Feel comfortable reaching out to your co-parent to ask important questions
- Don’t allow emotions to take over and keep your child a top priority
TIP 3: Keep It Civil
This sounds simple, though it’s not always the case. There’s a lot of hurt and emotion going through a divorce. Though keeping it civil is in your best interests and definitely that of your children. Saying something you might regret later will not help, so try your best to think of your children first and remain civil even in the heat of anger. Never use your children as collateral or put them in the middle. Keep your issues between you and your ex.
No matter what your situation, others have been through it too. There’s no shame in asking for help, either from friends or family or even getting professional help. Apps might help you in certain situations, though the whole divorce process is long and can be difficult. Sometimes you just need a helping hand. This can make your life easier and ensure that your children don’t have to suffer either.
TIP 4: Getting Help
If you’re finding it difficult, then mediation or a therapist may help you , for which there are many options. You can use apps like Mend or Divorceify to find someone local to you that comes recommended. In addition to this, you can find someone to help through good friends and family that you trust.
Sometimes getting help is key to moving on. And remember, you’re doing it for your child and to make sure he or she gets the parenting they deserve.
TIP 5: Paying For The Kids
One of the most difficult parts of divorce with children is making sure everything is paid for. Often the divorce papers will come with a child support payment amount, which has to be paid. Though there are always other expenses above and beyond that, such as doctors co-pays, additional school supplies or field trips this is important to consider early on.
Using an app for co-parents such as DComply can help with shared child expense tracking, filing disputes and proving to the courts that you’ve been making child support payments. In addition, you can pay child support online with DComply which is convenient, secure, and easy to do.
TIP 6: Utilize Apps For Co-Parenting
Using an app for divorced parents like DComply will greatly help you with your divorce. DComply allows you to track expenses, make payments, and more in an easy to use app that is secure and approved for use by legal professionals.
In addition, DComply also allows you to send individual bills to your co parent for the smaller things. You can easily and seamlessly keep everything all in one place. In addition, you can take pictures of receipts and bills, file disputes, and do so much more. It’s free so there’s no reason to not try it.
TIP 7: The Long Road
No matter when you get divorced and how old your children are, sometimes you have to focus on the long term, rather than the hurt right now. It’s easy to try and win in the short term, only to hurt relationships in the long term. As long as your children are in your life, the chances are your ex will be in some capacity too. You don’t have to like them, though for the sake of the children and their happiness, focusing on them and what they need is critical.
Nobody can tell you how to feel about these situations, as easy or hard as they may be. Though if you can make sure that you’re focused on what’s in the best interests of your children, then it might make it that little bit easier and give you something to focus on. Focus for your future and plan for theirs, things can and will get better if you’ve got a plan.
Setting a schedule, ensuring payments are all sorted and maintaining your involvement in the process is key. The apps can make things just that much easier, though don’t be afraid to reach out to others. Not only will you benefit, you children will too. That’s the most important thing.
Help When You Need It
Hopefully you’ll find these tips helpful and will make your life and that of being a co-parent just a little bit easier. No matter how the divorce came about or how tough it is now, if you make everything as simple and clear as you can, then it will yield better results. Even if it’s not easy.
We hope that this post has been helpful. There are many tips out there and not all will work for your situation. You may mind yourself needing to try a few different ways before you find what works for you. These tips for newly divorced parents are hopefully something that will help you in your future.