From Disagreement to Agreement: How Documentation Benefits Co-Parenting

Despite your differences, you and your co-parent must communicate after your divorce. If you two share custody of your children, you’ll stay in contact with one another for years as you raise your kids into fine adults.

Since you’ll be dealing with each other, anyway, you might as well learn the art of communicating effectively for smoother co-parenting sailing. Below, we’ll discuss how documenting leads to better interactions with your co-parent and how best to achieve good communication.

Why a Co-Parent Wants to Learn the Art of Effective Communication

Effective communication between you and your co-parent (and any significant others you bring on board) helps ease tensions, hard feelings, and hostilities. Additionally, it boosts productivity and understanding, helping all sides make better decisions. It helps build and repair relationships, trust, and teamwork. What busy co-parent couldn’t stand to benefit from all these advantages?

Why Document?

As a co-parent, you want to communicate clearly with your ex and document everything co-parent-related. Why? Clear and documented information is a co-parent’s best friend because:

It Reduces Disagreements

If someone gave you a grocery list over the phone, could you remember everything? Perhaps, but you’re more likely to succeed if you get the list in writing.

Many divorce experts advise writing to your co-parent instead of speaking in person or by phone. Written communication leaves less room for “I thought you said”s or “You never said that”s. Written information is a historical record of what was discussed. You and your co-parent will disagree less when you can refer back to what was written.

It Keeps Both Sides Accountable

You or your co-parent might break your agreements for many reasons. Memories fail and misunderstandings happen. They happen less often when information is in writing, though.

Information gets solidified better in the brain for the writer and the reader. Those abnormal custody switch-offs and uncommon occurrences won’t be forgotten or misconstrued as easily when written down.

It Reduces Stress

Written communication helps lower conflicts and the emotional stresses resulting from those conflicts. It slows the pace of communication, allowing you both to take your time composing more thoughtful and kinder messages.

Heated arguments tend to cool off when parents know what they say is recorded in writing. That’s a powerful motivator to communicate politely and maintain your agreements.

It’s Legal Proof

Should a co-parenting dispute arise, you have written proof that’s helpful for any legal action. It’s excellent evidence of your and your co-parent’s commitments, intentions, and behavior history.

Clear records can even help keep you out of court because you and your co-parent can look back at factual history (not relying on mistaken memories or feelings) and agree between yourselves. When you can’t agree, you can take your written and historical proof to a mediator.

How to Make Documenting Easy and Convenient

Documenting everything may sound like a full-time job, but with technology, it doesn’t have to be. (It won’t even be a part-time job, we promise.)

Make documenting easy on you and your co-parent with a handy co-parent app. Search for the following terms on your computer or smartphone:

• Divorce app for parents
• Divorced family app
• Parent custody app
• Parenting app divorce
• Co-parenting expense tracker

But couldn’t you just keep track of your texts, emails, Facebook messages, and bank accounts without an app? Yes, but those threads, chains, and line items can easily get lost in the shuffle– Did you actually say it over the phone or was it in a message? What month’s bank statement would that be on?

Plus, some communications can be faked or altered. It’s best to use a court-approved co-parenting app.

What Co-Parenting Apps to Download

You don’t need all the apps in the world to make documenting co-parent interactions easy. Here’s what you’re looking for.

An Expense Tracker

You and your co-parent need an easy way to request and pay child-related funds. It’s easier to keep track of money requests, payments, and dates using an expense tracker specifically for divorced parents.

A Calendar/Scheduler

Not every day will go perfectly according to your custody schedule and parenting plan. You and your co-parent need a way to request, approve, and track any changes you’ll need to make to your routine.

Messaging Functions

You’ll want a way to record and maintain your text communications. Texts and email chains get lengthy and confusing. Additionally, they are alterable and deletable. Use a messaging app to communicate about child-related things.

Look for an app specializing in these co-parenting communication essentials, or find one or two that excel in more than one specialty. In addition, look for the following nice-to-haves in a co-parenting app:

Bonus Features

• Photo, file, and info-sharing–great for sharing pictures of your child when your co-parent can’t be there, medical information, school and extracurricular info, clothing sizes, etc.
• Tone meter–helps you and your co-parent stick to professional, respectful communication by catching potentially hostile wording
• Payment processor–great for actually exchanging money, not just for keeping a running tab of who owes what

Documenting = Better Co-Parenting

Clear communications benefit you, your co-parent, and your kids. By documenting discussions, agreements, and other important information, you’ll reduce disagreements and stress, keep everyone accountable, and have a trail of evidence if you ever need it.

Use a co-parenting app to make documenting easy on you, so you’ll be sure to stick to it. Plus, those documents will be better organized and unalterable.