If you’re thinking about divorce or going through a divorce it might seem all doom and gloom. But there are benefits to divorce. It can be an opportunity for you and your family.
As a divorce professional for 30 years, and having been through the process myself, I know that many people feel that their divorce signifies failure and shame. This is honestly one of the hardest things about being involved in the process day in and day out and one of the things that I believe we as a society need to change. Divorce is not a failure! There really are benefits of divorce.
To see the benefits of divorce for yourself, I invite you to consider that divorce is an opportunity. It is a chance to reassess, regroup, reframe, restructure, and rebuild to create the life that you want. We do not get that chance very often in life so grab ahold and embrace your shot at creating a new future. A future that embraces who you are today, what you want from life and where you would like to go.
This necessarily involves sitting down and assessing what you want your life to be as you enter that new future. It can be scary and confusing. One thing about being in a relationship, even one that was not working, is that your future is somewhat mapped out. Now with a divorce, the future becomes much more malleable and therein lies the gift if you choose to see it.
Sit down and truly think about what you want for yourself and your children as you go forward. Is it time for new places, new people, new careers? You have choices where before they may have been limited by the bounds of the relationship. There may still be some parameters that you need to take into consideration, but you have a great deal more freedom to make your wishes and your wishes alone a priority.
Have you wanted to take your career in a new direction or start a new one altogether? Perhaps you have wanted to live in a different style home, or in a different place which you can now explore. Take a moment and put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just let your mind go wild for a moment. It doesn’t have to take shape all at one time, but it will be freeing and perhaps a little exciting to imagine the possibilities ahead.
The divorce process can be difficult and seem all-consuming at times, but the future is out there waiting for you. It will be even better if you take some time to think about it while you move through the divorce and negotiate a settlement that helps you achieve your new goals. For example, if going back to school to finish a degree or update a training is a desire, perhaps you negotiate for more support up front to help fund your educational needs or a parenting plan that takes your adjusted schedule into account. There is so much that you can do to help yourself if you know where you want to go.
When I sat down to name my podcast, I very purposefully called it The Divorce & BEYOND Podcast, because I always encourage my listeners to look to the time beyond their divorce – to that new future. The podcast is intended to give you information and advice on getting through the divorce itself, and also on living your best BEYOND life after.
If you are looking for resources, inspiration and more, from me and my friends and experts, please join us on Mondays at 6am ET when new episodes drop. You can also get more support and resources by joining the Divorce & Beyond Members Only Community. Members receive exclusive podcast episodes, videos, downloadable forms and checklist and access to the “Ask Susan Anything” Forum.
Come join us and get started on your BEYOND!