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3 Online Dating Tips For Success

June 21, 2021
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a woman sat infront of a laptop using an iphone

Online dating can be tough for anyone. But there is every chance that you can successful in finding a partner online. Just follow these 3 online dating tips that I learned first hand.

The Things I Learned While Online Dating

Before I became a seasoned online dater, I had a trial by fire sort of approach. When I look back on some of my first-timer online dating blunders, I think “Wow, I really wish I had done some more research on online dating before getting out there.” From minor things like wearing new shoes on a date before breaking them in and not knowing how to end a date that isn’t going well, to the bigger themes like not giving someone a second date because I decided they were “not my type”, to not regularly swiping and messaging, to taking things too personally. I learned the hard way how to successfully online date.

It’s important to remember that everyone—and I mean everyone—experiences the same things when online dating. When I finally talked to other people who were also online dating and realized how many people all face the same situations and types of people out there, it made me feel so much better about it all. It took me over two years, about 100 dates, and learning some hard lessons to meet my now partner of four and a half years. And I am with the perfect match for me because I took what I learned and put it into action. 

3 Online Dating Tips

I want to share some of the lessons I learned with you so that you don’t have to make the same mistakes that I, and many others like me, made.

1. Your first impression is not always the defining one

Let’s face it, most people are nervous on a first date. They may not show their wildly funny sense of humor or their interesting hobbies or their impossibly cute dance moves until a few dates in. They may have so much more to them than what they show on their first time meeting you.

2. You can’t be passive when online dating

There were many months I wasted online dating waiting for people to ask me out. I finally learned that many people just take too long or maybe don’t ever ask you out. So I started being proactive. Not just in asking people out, but also taking time every day to swipe and/or message with matches. As you will hear me say again and again, you can’t be a dabbler when it comes to online dating.

3. Develop a thick skin

As much as you can, try not to take things personally. Most people don’t mean anything personal when they disappear after messaging for several days. Some people aren’t ready or simply don’t have the time, or have any number of other extenuating factors in their lives that, unfortunately, you won’t ever know. Even if the person doesn’t want to have a second date after you meet in person, you need to remember that they don’t even know the real you yet (see lesson #1!). If you take every blow off or decline on a second date personally, you will continuously feel let down by online dating.

What You Should Do When Online Dating

As always, try to have fun with online dating. After all, if you only think of it as a chore or a necessary evil, that’s exactly what it will be. You get out of it what you put into it.  

Just remember my 3 tips to successfully online date and find your perfect partner.

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More About Alyssa Dinnen

Alyssa Dineen has been a fashion editor, stylist, and art director in New York for over 20 years. After she divorced at age 41, she began online dating, and rediscovered herself in the process. Through this journey, she found many people out there that could improve their dating profiles and while doing so, their understanding of what they want.